This week I have been working with a team in SF using this old school belief map. While I am not sure where this model came from it is such a great way to break down what happens when we are in the midst of conflict.
There you are in the grocery store parking lot. Someone pulls into your spot. It triggers a response in you and then you add a little spice to it, assume they are a selfish jerk, wind yourself up with emotion and you either…calm yourself down, or you roll down your window and ask them just what the %@(%& they think they are doing?!?!
We are living in a time where some people are not able to control their responses and it’s running amok. Each of us in our own little universe can do something to re-route our belief map. Here are some tips:
When something unexpected happens…
1. Freeze the action.
Most of the time we react to the situation because we are triggered by it. When you freeze the action by taking a beat, a breath, a moment, you can re-route yourself and make a conscious choice about what happens next.
2. Be curious.
Curiosity interrupts the story you are about to create in your head. The truth is you don’t know why that person did what they did – you only are a witness to the scene of now – this page in the book of their life experience.
3. Intervene with love.
If you can’t talk to the person, or you are afraid, just send love. Ask yourself, “What would love do?”
Do not underestimate the power of love, of being love, of just sending love into the environment. Imagine it spreading out across the parking lot, touching everything and everyone. Spread love, #creativegenius. People only need one thing – love.