One of the most difficult parts of change is the place between here and there. You may have an idea of what you are headed towards, but the time between a certain here and a definite there is tricky. It can feel like an eternity as you wait for things to feel stable again. This in-between place, as unnerving as it can feel, is actually one of the most amazing spaces to be.
In there, is the realness of you. When you are in the “OMG what is going on!” spot, you are at your most vulnerable, and that’s something you can use to your advantage. The openness it creates is an opportunity for rewiring. If you can stay off the slippery slope that leads back to your old way of being, and avoid the quagmire of future-worrying, you find yourself firmly rooted in the present, and the present is where we thrive.
When we live in the past, we suffer. When we live in the future, we suffer. In the present we always have two choices: react out of fear, or act out of love. When we root ourselves firmly is that present space, we are in a position to choose more consciously. We can choose love. We can choose to expand our trust, curiosity, and connections.
How, then, do you avoid the slippery slope, avoid the quagmire, and root yourself in the now? Here are some thoughts…
Ask yourself, what am I experiencing? Allow your answer to involve not just an assessment of what you’re feeling, but a scan of your entire landscape, both external and internal. How are your relationships? How do you feel at work? How are you feeling physically? You can do this mentally, or make an activity of it by regularly writing down your answers in a notebook.
Then ask yourself, what message am I giving myself through this experience? If you’re feeling stressed and tired, and your relationships are suffering, are you really sending yourself a message of love? Another thing to think about is whether or not your experience is helping you change and grow.
How might you shift your perspective to see something you might be missing? Sometimes change requires you to stretch your skills and your habits or let go of old behaviors. Look for opportunities to bring love in. Love your yourself, love for others, and love for our world.
Having reflected, stop, take a deep breath, close your eyes and imagine the best possible outcome for yourself. See yourself living this new now fully, as if it were happening right here, in this present moment. Then, leave that image in a safe place in your mind, and return your focus to now. You’ll get there, but right now you’re here.
Finally, give thanks for every little thing; your own creative genius, the roof over your head, the people, places and things in your world. The sun rises and sets every day, creative genius – it’s a miracle in itself. Go out and watch it, see how constant it is, and know everything is going to be alright. You are exactly where you need to be. This too shall pass, and you’ll get to the other side of this experience and be all the wiser for it.